what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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