When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
