Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
