we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize