Please, let me fuck your mom
so let's talk penis.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize