apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
