i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
