call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize