Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
