All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
