Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
