I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
