i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
