Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
