the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
