1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
