there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
