I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize