i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
