Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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