Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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