Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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