i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
