At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
