i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
