She is in my trunk
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
