i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
