Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
