I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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