Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I've blown a few things in my day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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