yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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