respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
