Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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