My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
