I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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