I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
