Sry I called you an 8
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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