handjob tips. give me some.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
