Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
