So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
