RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He better not be in your backpack
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
