Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
