im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
