i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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