hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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