The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So squirting runs in the family.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
