so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
