somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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