The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
