Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
