Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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