Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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