i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
