I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
