My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
where are my eyebrows?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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