whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize