So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
