You can't motorboat a personality
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize