I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She said her name was "party"
one might say we're banned from that church
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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