I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
