Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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