How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
