i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
